Taking the step to see a relationship therapist may feel like a huge decision. We may have felt that this was something only other people need to do, and that we could deal with on our own, in our couple or with the help of family and friends.
Many couples do indeed find that there are times when their usual resources don’t seem to be helping and they would benefit from talking to a therapist. Things that can make this easier is that the therapist doesn’t know you or your family and friends. They don’t take sides but support you both equally. You are in a neutral space with no distractions. You can sometimes find that the process of talking to a therapist makes your thoughts and feelings clearer. Likewise when you hear your partner talking to the therapist you are able to listen in a different way and sometimes get a new perspective.
All of the above advantages act as a foundation. To that foundation the therapist brings her theoretical knowledge and experience which helps to focus the sessions usefully.
What happens in our first session?
Our first meeting will be an opportunity for you to tell me your ‘story’ and what you want out of therapy. We can then decide together if therapy is likely to be beneficial.
What sort of things will we talk about in sessions?
We will explore your problem and what is keeping it in place. We may talk about your family of origin, family scripts and customs, communication styles. We may try to understand how your past may be influencing your experience of the present, and to discuss your hopes and wishes for the future. We may look at particular incidents in detail, breaking it down to look at how you are making meaning from your partner’s words or actions. This may enable you to develop new perspectives, options, understandings and ideas.